In 2015, the day before I moved from Pennsylvania to California, my car died at a red light. I arrived on the West Coast driving a U-Haul… and immediately had to shop for a new car.

I had my heart set on a blue Mazda CX-5. The problem? It was $8K over the loan my dad had agreed to.

As I negotiated, the salesman kept stepping away to “talk to his manager,” each time returning with a slightly better offer. $1K off. Then $2K. Then “final offer.”

He made it seem like he was fighting for me, like we were on the same team.

But he didn’t know that I literally couldn’t pay more. So I held firm, and after one last “manager meeting,” he reluctantly gave me my price.

This tactic is common in car sales. Not because it lowers prices, but because it builds liking.

When someone seems cooperative and on our side, we like and trust them more. And more importantly: we’re more open to their pitch.

And that’s exactly what this issue is about:

The rule of liking

We’re more likely to say yes to people we like. Robert Cialdini covers this principle in detail in his book Influence (we covered his reciprocity principle a few weeks ago; if you missed it, you can read it here).

And we like people who:

• Are similar to us

• Give us sincere compliments

• Make us feel good through association or shared experiences

But you don’t need to be an extrovert to use this (thank goodness). You just need to be intentional.

Here’s how:

Strategy 1: Lead with (real) similarity

Similarity builds trust. But it has to be authentic.

Do a little recon:

Before a stakeholder meeting, scan their bio or LinkedIn. Did they come from consulting? Ops? Do they talk about their dog, their MBA program, or parenting life? Look for any similarities and naturally slide them into your conversation.

Mirror their style

Do they use a formal tone? Quick Slack replies? Bullet-style slides? Matching their communication style can build an easy sense of “you get me.” (And if your VP always wears a blazer to leadership reviews, maybe don’t show up in a hoodie.)

Highlight shared goals

Let leaders and stakeholders know their priorities are yours as well. “I know we’re both thinking about how to prep for board review. I pulled some trend data that might help frame the retention story.”

Strategy 2: Use compliments (the right way)

We all like compliments, but only when they feel specific and genuine.

Be precise

Generic praise is forgotten. Specific praise shows you’re paying attention.
→ “Your input helped make my presentation flow so much better, and it went really well! Thank you for that.”

Share compliments behind their back

When someone hears you spoke well of them when you didn’t have to, it’s even more powerful. (Because you can bet it’ll get back to them.)
→ “Jenna’s stakeholder summaries have been spot-on lately and super helpful for the team.”

Use altercasting

This is when you describe someone in a way that encourages them to act in line with that description. They’ll appreciate the compliment and be more likely to keep doing it.
→ “Thanks for including a summary slide at the beginning of your report — it makes it so much easier to quickly grasp the key takeaways.”

Challenge yourself: One sincere compliment a day. Start small. Notice what happens.

Strategy 3: Increase (positive) exposure

There’s a reason you trust people you work with often: familiarity breeds connection.

This is called the mere exposure effect. Just seeing or hearing from someone repeatedly makes us like them more.

But it only works if those interactions are cooperative, not combative.

Be visible in a helpful way

• Join meetings where your input might add value, even if you’re not presenting.

• Share a relevant insight or context in the chat to build reputation and recognition.

• Follow up after meetings with a summary or next steps (or for my data viz lovers: “let me know if you'd like a chart on this — happy to pull one”).

Bonus: Add snacks

Cialdini cites the “luncheon effect”: we associate good feelings with people we interact with while eating (now you know why all those fundraisers have food). Consider hosting a lunch-and-learn or bringing snacks to the quarterly data review. Yes, cookies still count as strategy.

The bottom line

Find common ground.
Recognize what others do well.
Be visible in positive, helpful ways.

When people like you, they’re more likely to trust your insights, adopt your recommendations, and pull you into high-impact work.

Hoping you read this while eating cookies,
Morgan